Why a person would dent another person's park car and not leave a note? I have an old 20 year old car so it's not a big deal cuz I just kicked in the fender so it wouldn't catch on something. But what is a big deal is how a person who was probably trying to get out of a parking space (driving a SUV that they don't know how to park) could smash someone's car and just leave with out at least a note of apology?
Why couldn't life be easier for some people - like people born in poor regions of the world like parts of Africa who are scratching out a meager living without very little, some single parents who slave to provide their kids a good life, people born with physical or mental disorders who work to over come their handicaps, etc. While some of us are born with none of these problems and we're still not satisfied with our life! My answer is spend some time with people like these and it will open your eyes to what you have. Volunteering to help others is the best thing to make a person appreciate life! "A person isn't happy cuz they don't have shoes until they see a person with no feet!".
Why would a chick go to the beach wearing a bikini and high heels? It's hard enough walking on the sand in bare feet sometimes but heels wow u got me! Yeah see some do it at Kits Beach in Vancouver. My thought is "Yeah another superficial chick - who needs this place!"
Leave the past where it belongs. It can’t be changed. Now look into the future. If it’s empty you achieved your goal. Now go and create your future into whatever you want it to be.
There’s a point in your life. When you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything. But it’s not giving up. It’s realizing that you don’t need Certain people, the bullshit and the drama they bring.
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than out right exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” - Helen Keller
Was thinking maybe I should get a real job? But when I ask for a day off, I got this crap -
So you want a day off huh? Well, let’s just take a look at what you’re asking for ok?
There are 365 days per year, making that 52 weeks. You already have 2 days off per week, leaving just 261 days available for work. Since you already spend 16 hours each day away from work you’ve used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days left to work. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks which accounts for 23 days each year, now leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch break each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave, leaving you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.
Look, we generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I’ll be damned if you’re gonna take that
What are my basic life's beliefs?
-A friend will bail u out of Jail. A true friend will be in jail with
u saying "Dude did we fuck up this time".
-It's the friends that u can call up at 4 am that matter most. A
friend is someone who's there 4 u when they'd rather be anywhere else.
-Strangers are friends waiting to happen. Everyone's a friend unless
they prove otherwise
-Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no
survival value but like them it's one of those things that give value
to survival.
-Live right now. We fight, cry, scream & yell but after all that like
who gives a shit. so just let it happen & live ur life - be happy &
have no regrets
-Be who you are & say what you feel, because those who mind don't
matter & those who matter don't mind!
-Before you insult someone, try walking a mile in their shoes 2 see
how they'd feel. then
when you insult them you'll be a mile away & have their shoes.
-I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.
-Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.
-Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love
-Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
-Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
-Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
-You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
-Sex is only dirty if it's done right.
-I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
-The problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
-It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
-If at first you don't succeed, blame it on your parents.
-Rehab is for quitters
-When you come to a fork in the road, take it!
-Can relate to people who spend 98% of their money on booze and chicks, and the other 2% that they waste foolishly.
-If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
What is Ed Zachary Disease?
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time.
She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see Dr. Chang, the well-known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “OK, take off all you crose.” The woman did as she was told. “Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room.” Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.” So she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, “Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?”
Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, “Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass.”
Maybe I need Golf lessons?
A husband and a wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local golf club. The man and woman meet the pro and head to the driving range.
The man goes up first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards.
The golf pro says, “Not bad, Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife’s breast.”
The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says “Excellent!”
Now the woman takes her turn. She hits the ball 30 yards.
Golf pro: “Not bad, but try holding the club like you hold your husband’s dick.”
She swings and the ball goes 10 yards.
Golf pro: “Not bad, now try taking the club out of your mouth.”
How much signs help?
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.”
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER” sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded “I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”
Like what the f*ck could this person be looking for?
I read somewhere that "Life imitates Art" and this dude is oblviously an artist. So like the idiot that I am I've spent countless hours trying to copy this art! But can't replicate the skill but have lost lots of blood trying it! So I'm wondering could this dude maybe pointing to the secret of his skill. What do u figure?
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